1. McDonald’s. I know, there’s McDonald’s on every corner of the street, but trust me when I say that when you walk into a McDonald’s in Hong Kong, it is the best smell in the world. It doesn’t leave you gagging for a breath of fresh air because you can’t smell the chlorine and cleaning solutions. Instead, it’s this wonderful scent of freshly fried French fries. It’s like the perfect taste of a golden crispy fry when they just cleaned out the fryers and added a new batch of oil in. I’ll probably be in the Lok Fu McDonald’s (if it’s still here, by the Watson’s) every time I’m waiting for one of the small yellow buses to take me back to my aunt’s place on Broadcast Drive.
2. Spare rib pot rice. I don’t know what the dim sum places call it in English, but that is my translation. There’s steamed rice on the bottom with a layer of spare ribs covered in soy saucey goodness on the top, and they cover it with a lid (hence my calling it a pot. It’s like a clay pot if you’ve ever had a clay pot dish at a Chinese restaurant.) The best thing is the rice because it’s been marinating in these spare rib juices and sauce and so you scrape and mix it a little to make sure you get all of the wonderful flavor and enjoy.
3. Lamma Island (almost spelled it llama, oops). I’ve never been here before. Look at these jokers posing for photographs. I’m not going to even make a joke about that rock formation.
4. Kowloon Park. I have never been here either, even though I’ve been on that side of town many of times in the past.
5. Lan Kwai Fong. Okay, okay, so it’s full of expats and it’s basically a mini Times Square in a one block radius, and I’ve been here before, but I was there when I wasn’t even old enough to have a brewski in Hong Kong (legal age is 18), so hopefully this time around, I will be able to “experience” it for realsies. Of course my mother is freaking out over the prospect of me going to this place when crime is so bad nowadays~~! So I’m also hoping at least one of my relatives will accompany me, haha.
6. Ride a junk. It’s what you do as a tourist, right? I’m a tourist, damnit.
7. Wong Tai Sin Temple. I feel like as I grow older, I feel more affinity with my spirituality. I label myself as Buddhist because my parents raised me to be, and in a way, I believe it to be true. In more recent years, our family hasn’t set up altars or prayer tables during Chinese New Year, but we still go to temple when we can. In my case, I never go to temple for CNY, mainly because it affects my eyes more than regular folk. Joy of having no lens in your right eye so it can’t shield all the icky stuff like incense smoke! I’m really looking forward to going to WTS. I’m familiar with it. My family has always gone there looking for guidance. There’s history there, and I’m glad it’s still there so I can pay my respects.
8. Any and all “western” diner food, Hong Kong style. French toast with that creamy condensed milk. Macaroni noodle soup with ham and a fried egg. Ying-yueng (half milk tea, half coffee). I’m salivating right now just thinking about it.
9. Maybe the race track. I’ve never been, and my grandfather, being one of the most straight-laced policemen on the HKPD (comparatively speaking), was at the heart still a cop and enjoyed his fair share of gambling on a pony or two. Mom also bet on a pony one year when we were there. I don’t think she won, but that sounds like a good ole time. Maybe stats class will help me with my pickings, haha.

10. Lantau Island. Who doesn’t want to see the big Buddha statue? I’ve never been here either and neither have my parents.

I’m pretty sure there’s more, but it mostly has to do with food, and I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. But I’m looking forward to posting real updates once I’ve completed each of the above ten things! (most likely multiple times for some of these, haha!)

And in case you’re wondering – because I’m sure you’re curious and all – I’m also taking a mini detour to Macau, the Las Vegas I’ve never been. I will also make it a point to visit my grandfather’s resting place in Shenzhen, visit the family in the same area, as well as find more pineapple “beer” in Guangzhou when we visit family there. The last time I took a train in China, I was in Beijing heading to Shanghai, and it was not a bullet train. I never want that overnight experience ever again, but from previous experience on traveling to GZ by way of train from HK, I don’t think I will be as mortified. We’ll see though. I’ll share the gruesome details and perhaps even pictures if anything happens…

1. Condiments.  I love condiments.  I love sauces.  Buerre blanc, au jus, aioli, gravy, ranch dressing, relish, tartar sauce, especially KETCHUP.  I am a dipper, you see.  I love to dip things into whatever I can dip things into. (That’s what he said?)  I … whatever, there are just no words to describe how much I like love condiments.

2. FOOD. Who doesn’t love food? I like to shop for it, make it, eat it.  Which is really funny because I used to HATE everything.  I would only eat Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn and a slew of other junk foods.  My mother would threaten me to eat, and in elementary school, she would get my classmates to watch me eat and boss me around to make me eat (which, I guarantee you, they loved doing).  One time my aunt took my mom and I to this fancy buffet place in Hong Kong, and it was about 200 HKD per person (about 26 USD, but I mean, back in the day $26 was kind of a big deal).  I ate three popsicles and a helping of corn – not the cob, but the regular canned corn they heated up in giant fancy tubs or whatever.  Needless to say, Auntie Amy got suuuper pissed hahaha and was all “dude, I don’t know you; please go outside in the lobby to wait for us.” hahaha.

Then I started to make my own food – I have no idea when this began, but I still could NOT take the smell or taste of garlic and onions.  So I would get other people to prepare these for me, or just not include them at all (which was mostly what happened.)  Then about a year and a half ago, I thought, “What the hey! let’s just try it and see!” At first I still hated it, but now I’m all “mmmm the smell of fresh garlic getting minced and chopped”  By the way, mincing by knife > garlic press, you lazy bleepers!

Oh, I’m sure you noticed my Recipes category, right?  It’s a small collection as of right now, but my hope is to make it grow! (That’s what she said!)

3. Books.  I love books.  I mean, I already told you that I collect them.  But I love reading them.  To get sucked in by text on a page, to experience the feelings of the characters as they’re living their story… there is nothing really comparable.  I remember when I was about 12, sitting in the front of the school bus (lawlz, i was one of those kids.), reading the Iliad and feeling soooo terrible for Achilles and wanting to soothe his pain.  (Now I just think he’s a complete crying nincomdolt) So yeah. Stories.. stories in books, reading – yay!

4. Trivia.  I like knowing useless facts, and honestly, useless facts are most likely the only thing my brain wants to remember sometimes.  Where I put my car keys?  Nahhh, but matches have never been patented y’all!  I think that’s why I love history/ historiography – it combines the elements of Love #3 and this one.

5. Music.  I had a Cantopop phase (Faye Wong, Leon Lai, et al), then a pop phase (omgz Hanson, BSB, *NSync, Brit-Brit!), then a Celine Dion + Selena phase, then a goth/ alternative phase (because omgz I wanted to be cool and dark… most of the stuff I listened to around this time: Manson, Cradle of Filth, KoRn, KiTTie, Limp Bizkit [lawlz], Metallica, Pantera, Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest, et al), then a semi-country phase (Blake Shelton’s “Austin” and LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope you Dance” are still two of my favourite songs), then a R&B/ hip hop phase (Musiq Soulchild, Luther Vandross, Marques Houston, some old and new LL), then a “I have no idea what’s going on but I like these tunes” phase (Grateful Dead, Dead Boys, BRMC, Interpol, Pigface, Skinny Puppy), then a post-rock phase (EitS, Red Sparowes, Gloria Record, TWDY, GY!BE et al), then a jazz/ blues phase (Miles, Otis, Coltrane, Billie, Ella).  Then I just up and quit these phases and listen to everything.  I now have a really really strange music collection.  And I love singing and “singing” to everything that’s not instrumental – cos then I’d be just bobbing my head and tapping my fingers to the beat.

6. Fashion.  I don’t know if this needs any explaining.  I like to dress myself in pretty things.  I like to dress other people in pretty things (does anyone need a personal shopper? ahaha).  If you get clothes from me as a gift, wear it because I’m doing you a justice in making the world a better place by beautifying it. :-x  I am judgmental about what people wear, even though I don’t roast them out loud (unless they are my friends… :D i <3 you guys).  And honestly, if you needed any further indication, my friends have told me that they have learned to purchase things for themselves based on this question: “is this Sue approved?” hahahaha.  Three places I would max out my sugardaddy’s credit card: Brooks Brothers, J.Crew, and Nordstrom/ Niemans/ Saks.  Just kidding about the sugardaddy.  I dilly dally about in Charlotte Russe and Agaci too cos a girl’s gotta have itty bitty shorts for the beach and stuff, you know?

7. Laughter.  It’s the best medicine, dontchaknow! I don’t think I’m a very good joke teller, but I know I have made people laugh.  That’s all the satisfaction I need, really.  Sarcastic, dark, dirty, awful jokes are some of my favourites to hear.  For example, ahem – and this is from a stand-up show I saw late last year.

A: who in here hates dinosaurs?

B: me.

A: what! why?

B: because they’re so cute and now they’re dead. :( :( :(

A: so you hate Jon Benet too?

8. The little things.  I’m the type of person who would notice the changes, and I’m the type of person who actually means it, especially in relation to gift giving. As long as it’s thoughtful, I don’t care that it costs $0. And by thoughtful, I mean that we’ve had enough conversations and whatever that you were able to recall something and know that what you’re giving me is going to be something I like/ enjoy/ would actually use. Some of the favourite things I got were 1) this circuit board with a message in blinking LED lights and 2) Reading the OED.  You could write me a haiku on a piece of pink construction paper and it’d go into my box of treasured things.

9. Family and friends (who are basically my family).  The parental units sometimes drive me a little craycray, and there is tension on occasion.  but man, spending time with people I care about and who care about me is perhaps the most awesome feeling.  Folk who give you unconditional support (well for the parents, especially Mom, I think there are limits but I don’t think I care to test them anyway [I mean, I am not itching to try coke anytime soon, soo...]) and will be the first to say something when what you’re doing is a little off (even though you may not want to hear it at first).  I’m so grateful to have known/ know such things, and I love them.

Next: 8 Fears

1. For two or so years, I was heavily involved with the Society for Creative Anachronism in my region, and this period was, like, the awesomest.  My friend and I would go to the fighter practices every Thursday, and while she was practicing with the rapier (sometimes I would do this too, but definitely not at competition level), I was off making scrolls for the champions or learning melodies and lyrics to sing during Feast or helping out in the kitchen making wassail or something.  Anyway.  The two of us would drive around to the Middle of Freaking Nowhere every other weekend to participate in the events.  I got to dress up in cute flowy long dresses with bodices and corsets.

Anyway, there were a lot of good memories associated with this period, despite the cold weather and mud I had to walk in or the bugs that flew around me from time to time (which got me unwanted attention once :/).  Also, if by chance you are reading this, M’lady Alexandria, the DUKE FOREVERRRR.  Hahaha.

2. While we’re on this topic of roleplaying and whatever, I used to do it via play-by-post in forums and then moved on to journals where I would just write and write and write.  I like to think that some of best stuff I’ve ever written was for a character named Caitrin, and I like to blame the fact that I did so much writing during these years that I now have developed some sort of writers’ block for everything else.  I think this is also when I started my habit of writing the meat of my papers first before writing introductions – I have no idea if either of these things correlate with one another, but I just tend to blame my writing “complications” on this period.  I did, like my SCA experience, have a ton of fun while doing this – although there were situations where I was so tired of the “out-of-character” drama that was happening.  Anyway, I am still fwiends with one of my writing buddies. (hola papi!)

3. I’m a bit of a control freak.  I don’t try to control people, no.  I just…worry and panic A LOT about things that I generally don’t have control over.  I have been advised not to plenty of times, but it happens anyway.  I try to think of myself as a spontaneous person, and I think I was one when I was a teenager or something, but I’m not.  I like to make plans and set plans into motion, and sometimes deviations will make me all craycray.

4. I get road rage.  This is probably the most hilarious thing you’ll ever read, but it’s true: I hate terrible drivers.  (cue laughter) People who refuse to let you in to the lane or speed up when you speed up or slow down when you slow down DRIVE ME NUTS.  People who cut you off, trying to do a jersey slide, Drive Me Freaking Nuts.  People who don’t use their blinkers or just leave their blinkers on for five minutes and never go and then when you speed up, they finally decide that they want to now turn into your lane also make my blood boil.  I have dropped the f-bomb more times in the car than anywhere else.  I have flipped people off – probably only twice, but still.  I have called people by a slew of names; my favourites being ‘bitch’ and ‘whore.’  I have used them enough to where my mom has also started to pick up my bad habit.  Now, I don’t actually pull up next to them, slow down to their pace and yell these things, but I have used my horn more times than I care to remember.  I don’t know.  At least I’m not the kind that will throw bricks at people’s windshields.  My dad, however, is worried that even from a distance, people will be able to read my lips and subsequently shoot me or throw bricks in my face.

5. I have crushed on many many many many fictional characters.  Trent from Daria (who didn’t?), Aubrey from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes’ Demon in My View (not so much in In the Forests of the Night), Cal – before all that craycray nonsense – from Cate Tiernan’s Sweep series.  These are all from yester years, of course.  Currently, I am crushing on The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper :( I cannae help that he is so smurt and arrogant about it.  Anyway, there have been plenty in all my 23 years of living, and I’m pretty sure I won’t stop any time soon either.  Oh, also, he is not a character, but I have/ had the biggest crush on Norman Reedus because of secret #2.  I mean, he is a fine specimen of a man, but #2 just sealed the deal for me, I think.  Okay whatever, enough with this weird stuff.

6. I have never fallen in love.  I know what it feels like to love a person – as a friend, as a relative, so I don’t think it’s too terrible of a thing.  I think I came close once, but there wasn’t enough time for it to develop into something remotely related to that word.  I mean, if you have to ask yourself whether you were in love with someone, you’re clearly not, right?  I’ve been told that “you just know,” and since I never knew, I was never. Haha.

7. I’ve already told you about my Hello Kitty stash.  I also collect books – not in the Gatsby way, but in a more serious way?  Except for that one time I sold 3 boxes of books to Half Price Books, I have never gotten rid of any of my books. I think I still have some old R.L. Stine Goosebumps series sitting around in boxes in the attic, along with my beanie babies (lawlz).  I also have not sold back any of my books from college except for mathematics and intro to philosophy (because I clearly did not care for either of these subjects; sorry, Logic).  I have the fantasy of having my own study filled to the brim with books: books, books everywhere!  I would like Beast’s library, but let’s be real… I don’t imagine I’d end up living in a castle or anything remotely similar to a castle…

8. When I was younger, I wanted to be a doctor. More specifically, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon.  Then I wanted to be a cardiologist.  Then a neurosurgeon again.  Then an ophthalmologist mainly because I thought it would be some kind of poetic irony that I would be helping people who would have gone through the same crap that I went through.  Then everything changed when I took a particular Western civ class in college; I fell in love with history and never really looked back.

9. When I get nuts, I go crazy.  Or at least I used to; I like to think that I have inserted the word ‘moderation’ into my vocabulary.

10. My favourite word at the moment is ‘advesperating.’  Before, it alternated between ‘defenestrate’ and ‘serendipitous.’  My favourite adverb is ‘surreptitiously.’

Anyway, I wrote these down around midnight, so it’s probably a little obvious that I got tired toward the end of this segment.  But tada!  Secrets revealed!

I never ran out of Hello Kitty things to share; around this time of my life, my mom and I returned to Hong Kong every year during the summer to visit relatives, who showered me with Hello Kitty stickers, stationary, plushies, and other crap I don’t remember. I now think stickers are a waste of freaking money because they’re not reusable anyway, and I remember sticking them EVERYWHERE. Oh, Sailormoon was a big favourite at this time too, so they also gave me a whole bunch of Sailormoon crap… like this denim romper and jean jacket set with Sailormoon’s face and name emblazoned on the back. I thought I was so cool back then. Now I’m just :-|

Anyway. Mom and I eventually found a store in town that sold Sanrio stuff, and it was pretty far from where we lived so I made sure to ‘stock up’ each time we were there. It wasn’t like I bought everything in the store – just a few select pencils and mini sticker booklets and stuff. But then that mall became more ghetto, so we didn’t go as often anymore, and one of the last few times I was there, it got closed down. Bummer. BUT WAIT. A few months later or maybe it was a year or something – whatever, time doesn’t matter here – the Galleria opened up a Sanrio store in the food court, and I was no longer special with my Hello Kitty stuff because then it started to become more maintstream and shit.

ANYWAY. The whole point to this story is I loved Hello Kitty and I knew where to get it and I knew how to use her to make me special with some of the girls in the class. Whatever. By the time I was in high school, I had a whole bunch of plushies, stationary, bath towels – you name it and I probably got it, minus the kitchen accessories and stuff because seriously, why would I have need a toaster that etched Hello Kitty’s face on it?

Since then, I haven’t bought much of Hello Kitty anything. I traded her in for clothes and shoes. So, a few months ago, my dad’s best friend in Hong Kong calls him up and asks to confirm our address because the post office sent him back his package intended for me. This conversation ensues:

Dad: What are you doin, man? What are you sendin’ her?
Uncle: Dude, I got these Hello Kitty toys…
Dad: Yo, man… do you even know how old homegirl is right now? She’s marry-able – way too old to be playin’ with Hello Kitty shiet.
Uncle: Dude, they’re just collectin’ dust and I got them with my McDonald’s meal, dude.

[sidebar: Now, you're probably thinking 'wtf is homeboy doing eating Happy Meals?' considering here in the States, toys only come with Happy Meals. But Hong Kongers are different and they don't play when it comes to their Hello Kitty paraphenilia. I remember back in 1999 McDonald's teamed up with some company and churned out these collectible Hello Kitty plushies. They had her and her boyfriend, Dear Daniel, dressed up in school uniforms, wedding attire, etc. I think each set was only available for a week until they brought out another set. If you bought 17HKD (~$2) worth of food, you can buy one of the plushies for about 20HKD (~$2.50). How awesuuum. It was so awesuuum to Hong Kongers that they waited in lines as long as what we see here at Walmart on Black Friday to get these plushies. So, yeah. It was soooo successful that they've continued this madness.]

This is also the same uncle that got me this Hello Kitty music box made for babies. It played music (duh) and the moon thing rocked back and forth and turned different pastel colours. I was probably 12 around that time… definitely not a baby. :-| Anyway.

So my dad tells him our address, and yesterday, I got the package.

It’s about at this time I realize that he probably didn’t eat at McDonald’s five million times and just got them as a set.

I didn’t know what they were or what to do with them. I thought it’d be silly to open them up and play with them beecause what if they were worth mooonay? So I googled and found out they’re called KITTYBRICK from around 2006. (no joke about collecting dust, I guess) And since I’m quite sentimental, I am a bit of a pack rat.  I’m thinking I may just stick them in my room somewhere or up in the attic as  I’ve already got way too much Hello Kitty stuff hiding in my room.

So I’ve actually got a story about plushies.  As you can see 5 of those Hello Kitties are from the 1999 McDonald’s collection.  I didn’t get the rest of them cos I had to return to the States and all.   I was very sad.  I also didn’t wait in line for these because my mom was not going to allow me to get that cray-cray over them.  Speaking of my mom and plushies.  A looong time ago, my mom got me this Green Apple Hello Kitty plushie from the store, and it smelled like the typical manufactured green apple smell. I refused to open the package because I didn’t want it to lose its smell so quickly.  HOWEVER, Mom decided it would be a REALLY awesome idea to give one of her co-worker’s daughter a present, so she went into my room and just picked up something out of the bag and GAVE IT TO HER.  Needless to say, as that Hello Kitty plushie was ‘rare’ (I dunno, I haven’t been able to find another like it thus far) I HAD A FIT.  It was a really traumatic experience, and Mommy got in trouble with Daddy :-x Whoopsie.  (I know this makes me out to be a really fucking annoying spoiled brat, which I’m not, but whatever.  I was like 13 or something and just not having it.)  Alright.. moving on… pencils and pens, y’all.  Cos I need multicoloured pens with the Sanrio label on it as if other pens didn’t work.

Then the above stuff are just stickers.  Lots and lots of retarded unopen stickers.  I don’t really want to open and use them, so they’re just… sitting in a box.  Also LOOK, WE ARE DINOSAURS.  I liked dinos a lot too, you guys.  I still do, but anyway.  So yeah, we are dinosaurs are kind of rare now too, I think cos I haven’t seen them out and about.  The dinos on the left are not we are dinosaurs, though they are dinosaurs… Anyway. whatever.

This is the only thing that’s out in the open, and it holds all my calligraphy pens and Chinese brushes and paints.

So, uh, yeah.   I have way to much Hello Kitty stuff that I’m not willing to part with yet even though I’ve outgrown them.  I may just put it all on ebay eventually.  We’ll see.  They were selling the KittyBricks for like $6 each….

So let’s start with the chili:

Ingredients

3 tbsp oil (I use extra virgin olive oil)

1 medium onion, roughly diced/ chopped (I used sweet yellow)

6 cloves of garlic, roughly chopped or minced*

2 lbs ground chuck

2 28 oz. cans of whole tomatoes

1 can of kidney beans*

1 can of black beans (or Ranch Style beans)*

1/3 cup of roughly chopped scallions

2/3 cup pickled jalapenos

1 tbsp ground cumin

2 tbsp paprika

1 tbsp oregano

2 tbsp cayenne*

2 tbsp chili powder*

A few notes:

For garlic, I like to use a garlic press because it’s a miracle that I can even cook with garlic now.  I still don’t like the smell of raw garlic and I definitely wouldn’t just pop those babies in my mouth like my parents and others are wont to do.

The beans are optional.  Some people get rather sensitive when discussing the makings of a ‘real’ chili; they just don’t believe beans should be in there.  I personally don’t care.  I like me some frijol.   Also, I know nothing about Ranch Style beans.  I’ve seen them in the store with their unmistakable label of black background and large white letters, but I’ve just never had them.  And Whole Foods didn’t have it, so I just got regular black beans.

The cayenne and chili powder… well, use as little or as much as you’d like.  I just eyeballed. :D And I can guarantee you most Yanks won’t be able to handle the heat of the chili I made.  Hahaha.

Alright, on to the cooking…   

1. Coat the bottom of your pot with some EVOO.  I just eyeballed it, and I guesstimated it was around 3 tablespoons for me.

2. Toss in the garlic; stir for a few seconds and then toss in the onion.  Every once in a while stir the mixture until the onions become more tender.  This usually takes about 6-10 minutes.

3. Put the 2 lbs of ground chuck into the pot.  I broke it up with my cooking spoon and seasoned it with a little bit of salt (a pinch or if you need actual measuring, probably ½ tsp) and some freshly ground pepper. (I really like black pepper so I used about 1 tsp at least).  Brown the meat.

4. After browning, pour in the two cans of whole tomatoes.  Mine were the Muir Glen fire roasted tomatoes;  I remember eating a few samples of bruschetta made with them, and they were so delicious so when I saw them for sale at the store, I had to get them.  Poke them with your cooking spoon so that they become halved.  Or you can leave them whole.  Up to you.

5. Pour in the beans.  I drained some of the liquid (about ¾ from each can) before putting them in my pot. Stir until it’s all mixed together

6. Then you add the spices.  As I said, as much or as little as you like of the cayenne and chili powder.  Stir.

7. Lastly, put in the chopped green onion.  Stir again.  Let it come to a boil before covering the pot with a lid and letting it simmer. (45 minutes to an hour)

While that is getting all nice and yummy, we’ll make the cornbread.

Ingredients

I kind of cheated and used cornbread mix I bought at Costco.  It called for the following:

1 egg

2/3 cup milk (I used buttermilk instead)

1/3 melted butter

3 1/4 cup of the mix

In addition to those above ingredients, I added:

2/3 cup cheddar and monterrey jack cheese mix

2/3 cup roughly diced picked jalapenos

1/3 cup chopped green onion

1 can white kernel corn (you can used cream-style corn, if you wish)

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (or however high or low your cornbread mix calls for.

2. Prepare the cornbread as directed on the package.  For me it meant combining all wet ingredients first before adding in the dry.  Mix both together until it’s all moist

3. Then fold in the rest of the ingredients. I did mine one ingredient at a time so I could make sure it was all incorporated

4. Pour the batter into a prepared (by this, I just sprayed butter cooking spray) pan.  I used my 12-mini muffin pan and 8x8x2 glass baking pan.

5. The package told me to bake at 11-13 minutes for the mini muffin pan and 22-24 minutes for the larger pan, but I’m pretty sure I went over both time limits.  I just checked on them relatively often after the designated times because I thought they weren’t as brown on the top as I liked them.

After the cornbread is in the oven, you have around a 15-20 minute window to fix the dessert: strawberry Romanoff.

If a friend had never ordered it at La Madeleine I would have never known how tasty it was.  And I wouldn’t have tried to remake it.

Ingredients

1 medium package of strawberries

1 cup of sour cream

1 tbsp of powdered sugar

2 tbsp of brown sugar

1 tbsp of brandy

A few notes: Strawberries are not in season right now so they’re obviously not as good as they are in season.  Mine were a little tart, but I think the brandy sauce was yummy enough to make me not notice it as much.

After one cup of the sour cream, there wasn’t a lot of it left anyway, so I just dumped the whole thing into my mixing bowl, leaving only a spoonful for my chili.

You can use all brown sugar or all powdered sugar, if you’d like. And because my parents and I are kind of lushes, I put in 2 tbsp of brandy instead of 1. :-X  Also in the picture you might notice that I used XO Remy Cognac.  Um, it was the only thing in our liquor cabinet, and I was too lazy to make an extra trip to Spec’s.  And besides, cognac is essentially brandy anyway, except it’s made in the Cognac region.  Amirite or amirite?  I don’t know; I think someone mentioned that to me one time.  Correct me if I’m wrong, connoisseurs; regardless, my sauce still tasted awesome.

So… directions!

1. Clean, de-stem, and using a paring knife, cut out the top part of the strawberry.  I did mine in a cone shape instead of an outright straight chop off the top because I wanted them to look like hearts when I cut them down the middle.

2. Put sour cream, sugar, and brandy into a mixing bowl.  Stir until all combined.

3. Get a pretty cup, or an ugly cup (really, it won’t matter once you and your guests eat it.  They’ll be too amazed by the awesomeness of the sauce and thus your awesomeness for making it.) and start putting strawberries in it.  Spoon in some sauce (1 or 2 spoonfuls) then layer more strawberries and then more sauce, parfait-style. Although you can just dump all strawberries in and then ladle the sauce.

By the time you’re finished with making the dessert (it makes about 2-3 servings, depending on how much you want to give your guests), your cornbread and chili should be done.   Taste the chili and if needed, season it with a little salt. Then, ladle, cut, and serve.  Happy cooking!

I believe in signs.  I really, really, honestly, truly do.  And you’re starting to make me wonder if you’re telling me the message that I think you’re telling me.  And worst of all, you’re making me doubt myself.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve doubted myself plenty of times before, but I feel like I’m at the stage where I shouldn’t doubt myself.  I’m old enough to know better… about who I am as a person, who I want to become, and what ‘skills’ I currently possess. I don’t know.  Maybe that’s a little arrogant and presumptuous of me because I haven’t even lived a quarter of a century yet, but I just feel like I should know better than to let things I can’t control… control me.

Last year, the more I studied for the LSAT, the more anxious I got.  In the beginning, with the help of a course, it seemed doable, until I started getting some assumption questions wrong on the logic reasoning section.  That’s where it all pretty much went to the crapper because then, I just started over-thinking every question. Some of the more difficult questions, I got correct, but some of the easy ones flew way over my head.  I went through all the questions in the Mastery book, sure, but I got so freaked out by missing so many of them and thought I’m screwed here because that section makes up 50% of the exam score that I didn’t have enough productive study sessions.   To those of you who followed me last year, you’ll remember I was kind of a mess. I just couldn’t get it.  It was too finite and I couldn’t wrap my head around it because in my mind, there is ALWAYS another way… another explanation.  And you know, that’s just not the way the test works.

In the end, I got a score I wasn’t pleased with.  And despite sending in my applications awfully late, I got a nice brush off from a really nice, kind of dream school in New York (if you can get the score a little higher, etc. etc.) but it was a brush off regardless. Anyway, I had convinced myself I wasn’t going to take the test again because it was the bane of my existence; it ruined my life for half a year. But then, that would make me a failure because I would have given up so easily, and brick walls are there for a reason, right?  So I registered for the October 2010 test.

In late May, I started studying for the exam a second time.  It went by more smoothly.  I didn’t retake the course; instead, I used a combination of PowerScore and Kaplan materials, and studied on my own.  I kept a relatively consistent schedule.  I hit a few bumps in the road (a month into it I thought about not doing the law school thing entirely and instead get a master’s, which I am still applying for because I like options), but it wasn’t terrible like last year, and I felt pretty great.  Until around two weeks ago.  My scores on the practice tests had been alright, but they were consistent until this one test.  I bombed it.  I did worse than my actual LSAT score.  Sign Number One.

So in addition to freaking out over how I was going to do the exam, I was worried about if I would even be let into the exam room.  A few weeks after I registered for the test, I printed out my ticket, and I kept it in a safe place.  Around the time I failed the prep test and started stressing, my credit card statements came in and no where on either of them was my registration fee.  I checked online, and gee willikers, there is no record of registering for it either.  I have this printed out ticket, date and time-stamped and all, and yet no registration record.  So I e-mail LSAC and nothing… Then I call, and they tell me that they were sorry that happened but there’s nothing they can do about it.  This was on Thursday, by the way.  I tried again yesterday hoping someone else would tell me something different, but I got the same response.  I decided to just go to the testing center  and see if I could still somehow get in.  But I couldn’t sleep last night obviously, so I had someone tell me stories and sing me songs before I forced myself to sleep. Sign Number Two.

Anyway, before I get to this morning… earlier this week, I started getting feverish.  It was weird because I felt fine during the day time, but after I got off work around 4-5ish I came down with a light fever.  Nothing a few Tylenol and a nap couldn’t cure, but it went on for a few days.  And then on Wednesday, I started getting the sniffles, and by god, I took someone’s advice and downed a cocktail of drugs to ward it off.  It didn’t really work because I felt more groggy and body/ headachy than before, but whatever.  More naptime for me, and by Friday morning, I was better.  But still, Sign Number Three.

Now, this morning… I woke up before my alarm clock.  Got ready, and like last time, I didn’t care what I wore to the test.  A pair of old jeans, a comfortable t-shirt and a hoodie.  I had a nice filling, but not too filling breakfast at one of my favourite diners near the test center. I got sat in front of a guy and a girl who were probably having the most awkward, first or second date in the world.  I know it was wrong for me to eavesdrop but it’s kind of nice to laugh inwardly at how ridiculous this exchange was because it took my mind off other more troubling things.  Anyway, you are probably thinking what the hell are you talking about… who has a date at 6AM?  And I wouldn’t know what to tell you because I don’t know either.  Although if I had to guess, they were probably there after getting it on after a club closed or something.  Anyway, so… basically, these are the things I thought about when I occasionally dropped in on their conversation:

-           When is it okay to talk about ex-partners or to tell the girl that she’s ‘scary’ and that you find something about her ‘scary’ on a first/ second date?  Have I been out of the ‘real’ dating scene that long?

-           What kind of ugly ringtone is that, frat boy? And why are you answering it?

-           Speaking of frat boys, he totally sounds like one, but I’m sorry to report that he does not look like one.  And I mean that in the way that… I think 96% of frat boys I have been around are relatively good looking. (That link has nothing to do with frat boys or what the guy looks like.  I just thought it was funny … you know 96%… yeah)

-           “My mind is in the gutter. Hehe hehe.  I’m sorry.”   Lady, you cannot just tell a guy that and then giggle and say you’re not going to tell him what you were thinking without him asking/ prodding you for the answer.  As if on cue, dude says “Oh yeah, I knew you had another side to you.  What’s on your mind?”  I imagine there was lots of smirking on his part.

Now, after that bit, I just tuned it out because that conversation can only go downhill and I had better things to think about like how I would march in there and charm those people into letting me take the test.

When I got to the test center, there was this creepy tall guy walking around.  It looked a little sketch because he’s strolling really slowly and peering into each room.  And he had nothing on him with his hand in his pockets.  I mean… I don’t know.  Maybe I watch too many crime dramas.  So I get there.  I take this other ticket they were passing out to let me know which room to go into.  Follow other people and let some other people herd me in a general direction and wait in line for the lady at the counter to check you in.

Then it was my turn, and she couldn’t find my name which I had guessed.  And I told her my situation, and I showed her my ticket, which she then took, reviewed, and never returned. (so haha, now I don’t even have a copy of that to prove to anyone that I, indeed, did have a stupid ticket.  Just this LSAC email about the October 2010 test, but even then, it doesn’t really prove anything, I don’t think)  She essentially said, Sorry.  You are not in the system.  You are the weakest link.  Goodbye.  And there was nothing else I could do other than to just walk away in shame as other people stared at me.  Then I went to the library and have been hiding here in a study cube on the third floor crying like a weirdo ever since because I don’t feel like going home and have someone tell me I’m a failure and say something like ‘I told you so.’ I’m not sure if they would really say that, but I have an inkling or I imagine they would, so… here I am, feeling sorry for myself and wondering if these three things are really signs to just tell me, stop Sue.  You are dumb, you are really dumb, for real.

Anyway, I don’t know what I’m going to do now, and I kind of feel like I’m living this experience?  But I should maybe go home and face more shame.  Thanks, Universe.  I mean, I really hope you give me another sign that will tell me things will get better.

Very truly yours,

Sue

My dad is a really shy person, unless he’s with his brothers, drankin’ and reminiscing about ole’ times. Then, according to Moms, he’ll sing and even… dance :-O He fits right into the mold of that stereotypical Asian person: soft-spoken and super smart in maths. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be him, to be able to calculate problems with weird numbers in my head without the use of even pencil and paper because I got the liberal arts gene from Moms. (I mean, one time, I had to use pen and paper for 11+11 – no joke. I was slow that day. :-/ My mom found the piece of paper and laughed at me with my dad. Good times.) Anyway…

He is the son of a Chinese merchant who was posted at a border village in Vietnam where he met his Chinese-Vietnamese wife. So..my dad’s a country boy. A country boy who was raised by his brothers because his father passed from cancer before he was born, who walked several miles to school every day and returned home to work in the family business, and who took the biggest risk of his life by riding in some small rinky dink boat to safety in Hong Kong. He went to the Phillippines and Hawaii for schooling, and he’s been in the States since at least 1984. Even then, he’s got an even worse accent than my mom when it comes to speaking in English, haha, and that’s only if he really needs to use the language – say with a client or something. Sometimes, though, he’ll just imitate people on the radio or television for the hell of it, especially when he starts singing along all silly in the car – mostly to make me giggle, but one night, it got a little confusing.

I was walking to my room from the kitchen, and I knew my parents were in the living room watching a show. Then I heard:

Dad [in English]: “I. Am. Gay! No, honey. I am gay!”
I seriously backtracked and peered into the room.
Me: “You’re what?!”
Mom is cracking up, and I’m wondering wtf kind of conversation I walked in on.
Dad, looking at me, smiling [in English]: “I am gay!”

It wasn’t until my mom had to rewind the show they were watching Bethenny Getting Married?? that I understood he was imitating the guy who worked at the hotel, who gave Bethenny a foot massage before she walked down the aisle. Because, welps, the other option would have made it a very interesting evening.

Also, another awesome recent gem:

The three of us went to a local Tex-Mex place we love to celebrate mom’s birfday.

Rofl. So just ignore the fact I look like a complete lush, alright. :-/ Anyway, so sometimes, they’ll have people who come in and solicit, even though there are stickers on the doors that say it’s prohibited. Anyway, this guy was selling pens for a dollar, and my mom, always the charitable little lady, bought two of them. After a margarita and a half, my dad and I are cracking jokes and writing all over my take-out box.

My Daddy's Awesome Handiwork! Hee.

It’s supposed to read my name, which is missing an ‘a’ and “Happy Birthday.”

That’s actually one of my favourite songs to sing, but this post is obviously not about a song. I know for the northern hemisphere, it’s been summer for a couple of months already, but it doesn’t officially end until mid-September, so there’s still plenty of time for you folks to go sunbathe and lounge around a pool or beach somewhere. Now, I also know some of you may not have gotten a swimsuit yet because you are currently or always have been self-conscious about your body or because shopping for these damn things is always a pain in the arse.

Now to address the former reason for you not to purchase a suit: beach cover-ups are for sale for a reason. Actual clothing, like t-shirts and shorts, are appropriate for when you leave the house/ hotel room, get in the car/ take the elevator down, and first enter the area with water. They are also appropriate for when you enter a store or a restaurant as you come from the beach or the pool. They are NEVER appropriate when you’re lounging around for a while or actually ENTERING into the water.

oh my gosh, hellz naw.

I understand your “logic,” to an extent. (This logic does not include the people who follow religions and cultural traditions that require them to cover up.) You would feel just so embarrassed if you revealed anything! You would be less noticeable than the other women parading around in their swimsuit and beach cover ups! Well… I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but you stick out like a sore thumb when you walk around with sand sticking to your wet clothes as you walk to and from your spot on the beach and into the ocean. And you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb when you’re fully dressed while everyone else is partially undressed.

just say no!

Just say no, okay? Let’s help you find something that you’d feel good in, okay? And let’s make this as easy and stress-free as possible with these few things to keep in mind, mmkay?

1. Be patient. You’re just going to have to give it time to find that perfect swimsuit. Find a day when don’t feel like a Fatty McFatterson (because we all have those days, ladies.), or when you’re not going to be rushed because you have the kid and she’s screaming her head off because she wants ice cream, or when you don’t have a deadline to find something before your big tropical paradise vacation. You may have to spend a big chunk of time to find something perfect for you.

2. Be open-minded. There may be a particular suit or style you saw online or in a catalogue that you absolutely adore. You may already think a certain style looks good on you, so you’re focused on finding that style again. But if you abandon these thoughts, your shopping trip will shorten and become less stressful.

3. Go big first. A majority of suits run small; it’s not because the designers hate you or that cinnamon bun you ate in between store browsing made you miraculously gain weight. So, knowing this, start with one or two dress sizes larger than your actual size. However, also know that some particular cuts or style will just simply not work for your body shape. As cute as it looks on the mannequin or model in the picture, just cut your losses and accept that it won’t work for you. For those of you who think that going up a size is the way to go for ‘full coverage,’ don’t even think about it. You’ll look ridiculous with a wrinkly and saggy behind after you get out of the water.

4. Texture. Feel the suit; rub the fabric in between your fingers. Pull and tug at the fabric. Lycra has outstanding stretch and support; the more Lycra is used, the better control the suit has to offer. However, too much control creates a sausage effect around your bust or around the legs, so be aware of that.

5. Color. Analyze your skin tone. Are you a little on the pale side? Go for darker colors like navy, dark brown or black. Do you have a yellow or red-dish undertone? Stay away from those colors. I have a yellow undertone, so I stay away from every shade of yellow or else I end up looking jaundiced. Are you a little more tan? Try something pastel or with a brighter hue. Metallic fabrics are nice; I mean, who doesn’t love shiny things? I love shiny things, but a lot of the time, metallic colors only enhance what you don’t want enhanced. They’re not very slimming.

6. Comfort. This is the most important thing to consider. If you’re not comfortable with it initially, don’t bother because you won’t feel comfortable later either.

The following pictures are mostly from Victoria’s Secret because they have a swim sale going on, and they seem to have almost every style of suit I want to discuss.  So, click the links to the pictures; they’ll bring you to their respected pages.  Um, so the models look ridiculously stunning, but I make myself feel better by telling myself these pictures are photoshopped and most of these models are wearing ‘Miracle Bra’ suits, which are sometimes not so awesome. Anyway…

We’ll start with the one-piece suits, which are the most comfortable for everyone, and I think with a gentle v-neck (not necessarily the deep-v plunge like in this suit) is universally flattering. They show off your collar bones (yay!) and elongate the neck. The cut at the legs in this suit is pretty standard, but if you’re self-conscious about your thighs (‘omgz I haz thunder thighs!’), opt for slightly higher-cut legs to downplay that.

This one has a cute sweetheart neckline which works for almost every size (unless you’re chest-less) because it accentuates the bosom quite nicely, and it’s not too revealing like a v-neck most times. You can also notice that this suit has an interesting, almost tankini-like feel, with its cut at the bottom/ leg opening.

One-piece plunge suits help create an illusion of an hour-glass figure. The combination of the high neck, which broadens the shoulders, and the cut, which distracts from wider hips, slims waists. Additionally, the plunge accentuates the chest, which works for those who are on the smaller side.

The rest of these are 2-pieces and I think these are generally more fun because you can do more with them. But I dunno, Victoria’s Secret plunge one-pieces are pretty… well, you can see what I mean.

Alright… onto the tops!

Tankinis work for people who have longer torsos. It gives you the opportunity to cover up when you want, but when you want to tan your stomach, you can simply roll it up. They won’t offer as much control or shaping as the one-piece for those with fuller or straighter waists, but they still disguise the ‘problem area’ if you carry more weight in the middle.

Halter tops enhance a smaller bust and minimize a short torso because the deep-v draws the eyes up to one’s face while also creating the illusion of width. There’s enough fabric and structure in a halter top for women with larger chests to show off their assets. However, if you have wide shoulders, halters will accentuate the width and you might end up looking like a line backer.

Wooo, itty bitty! If you can get extra Lycra for support without the sausage effect, it cane be wearable for those with bigger busts, but this shape is perfect for those with a smaller / more athletic bust. Ruching or a keyhole in the middle, ruffles, or even the crisscross pattern in this particular suit will give the appearance of a fuller bust.

The least coverage offered out of all suits. This is best for average-sized busts; the small triangles covering your chest are not going to give you enough support for you fuller-up-top ladies. Not for all the Lycra in the world. However, if you’re on the smaller side, this style can work for you with the help of molded cups.

Now the bottoms..

Boy shorts work best for women with athletic body shapes, who are slender, or have boyish figures because they draw the eye to the hips and create curves. Pear shaped women should stay away from these because again, the extra fabric draws the eyes downward. And honestly, if you are already self-conscious about a body part, the last thing you want is to bring attention to that body part. The extra fabric doesn’t help in elongating the legs, so if you have a longer torso or if you have short legs (like me :-() you should stay away from these too.

Just as I explained in the first one-piece suit, the higher-cut leg makes legs look longer and leaner, so if you’re pear-shaped or have long torsos, these are perfect for you because everyone wants to be proportional, right?

Hipster bottoms work great for pear shaped women because once again, they elongate not only the legs but also the torso. But because they hit right under the hipbones/ elongates the torso, women with long torsos should stay away. And inversely, you can gather that they work great for women with short torsos!

These side-tie bottoms generally have moderate back coverage, a low waist cut, and narrow ties at both sides. However, recently, there are suits that have come out with two strings. They’re great for athletic physiques and women with small busts or hour-glass figures.

Now for some random tips to play up your figure. I’ve already done a little bit of that in some of the categories above, but I’ll just state them again.

For one-piece suits, ruching/ shirring in the middle of the torso or at the side will downplay thicker waists. It reduces the appearance of bulges and creates the illusion of a more defined waist. Also, try diagonal stripes or side cutouts to slim and define the waist.

Patterns are also something to really consider, but just be aware that some patterns are more slimming than others. However, in general, big bold prints with movement (such as a large all-over floral pattern like the ones below) will offer distraction from any problem areas you may have.

Again, ruffles in the bikini top and/ or bottom works well for those with more boyish/ slender figures. They make you look fuller, and this of course is great for women with smaller chests as well.

Finally, my favourite ‘trick’ of all is to mix and match colors and patterns with your two-piece suit. I think it’s my favourite because it works best for pear shapes as well as women with smaller busts. A suit with a darker bottom and a lighter/ printed top will bring the eyes upward. And if you add special touches, such as that crisscross pattern in the bandeau top above, will really help frame up top and create or accentuate cleavage.

And there you have it.  I realise this is rather lengthy, but I hope it’ll help you somehow, someway and ease your fear of swimsuit shopping. Have fun!

We’ll start off with the top 10 posts!

Recipe: Ten-minute Tirami-SUE With 861 views, this is by far the most viewed update on my blog. I’m glad that you’ve made it so popular because it is truly one of my favourite recipes.

The (Very Possibly) Over-Dramatic Fears of a Super 0L (111) – I have no idea why there are over 100 views of this, but as you can see, I went a little batsh!t crazy freaking out about nothing last summer…

COUNTDOWN TO DOOMSDAY (86) Just one month before the exam I be spendin’ that moooneeeyyy. Whoever said retail therapy didn’t work can suck it.

countdown to… test day. (82) This was the night before the exam. As you may notice/ have noticed, I was more calm…? Though, I think I was just numb by that point. The LSAT preparation last summer was a roller coaster ride, or at least that is how I imagine roller coaster rides to be because I’ve never legitimately ridden one. sadface.

This is me. Not hyperventilating. (68) So waiting for scores was kind of awful. It might have been more awful than the actual preparation for the test because I was at least doing something then. I don’t know, waiting in general just sucks major monkey balls.

Fashion Friday (for the Frugal), Vol. 1 (67) My first ever installment of Fashion Friday! Haha, until it fell on the wayside :-( I mean, I guess not posting the first in the series on a Friday should have been a good indication about that. At least it’s back now. :-D

Tackling Assumption Questions: LSAT vs. Real Life (66) I wasn’t actually trying to tackle LSAT assumption questions in this one. I was trying to be “cute” and “clever” about introducing an issue I had at the time without seeming too bitter or desperate about it.

Mandarin Monday, 第一课 (55) Yeah, this series is kind of on a respirator, but haha hey, at least this one was posted ON a Monday. :-D I never really got any feedback on this (even though it more or less benefits me) and so I didn’t know if anyone was learning anything from these.

Museums, High Ceilings, & the Brightest of Lights… (51) – I went to our Nation’s Capital in July 09.  It’s just a documentation of places I visited with tips and stuff.

Childhood. I haz it. (50) Well this is a shocker. This update is one of my more serious ones, and because it’s edging out at #10, I want to say you guys saved the best for last. *cue Vanessa Williams’ song* No, seriously. I don’t want to scare you off, but PLEASE get your eyes checked at least once a year because retinal detachment is a sneaky motha’ and will get you without you even knowing. I have always had thick glasses (oh man, the ridicule D:), and it was supposed to be just a routine check up at some LensCrafters inside some mall so that I could get a new pair of glasses. Instead of a new pair of glasses, I got surgery – 6 times. So please, get your eyes checked. Oh, and if you have any questions about this topic, don’t hesitate to email me. I am more than happy to talk and explain! Okay, this is the end of your public service announcement.

Next is.. How do you people even get to me? – or, Top 10 Search Engine Terms:

cursory circumlocution (8) – aww, and it’s spelled correctly and everything!

sueting (5) – aww, people are finding me by name, and no you turds, it’s not pronounced “sweating” :-|

rolex (4) – yeah, they’re probably looking for this, I reckon: COUNTDOWN TO DOOMSDAY

lsat (4) – yep, lots of studying going on for that… lots of freak outs too.

cursory (3) – that’s a part of my blog name… though I’m sure they were probably looking up the definition of that word. high schoolers and their SATs.. puh. (hehe)

mandarin monday writing (3) – there’s also actually a #MandarinMonday hashtag on Twitter and their group has a website. But I’m glad they found me, too?

funny birthday pictures for women (3) – haha I have nooooo idea. I did, however, post about my birthday and a mock-up of the outfit I was going to wear for the festivities.

random texts pictures with okay (3) – I could understand them finding me through this weird phrase once, but 3 times???

lifeat160.com (3) – Yeah, no… this isn’t lifeat160, and I’m sorry to all the poor souls who found this instead of his Saga. But I did update about how much I liked reading the blog.

what not to wear (2) – um perhaps my favourite show of allllllll time!? Can you believe Clinton is 50, you guys??? He was on my mommy’s AARP magazine/ newsletter thing. SO WEIRD.

Now FINALLY, what you have all been waiting for, I’m sure… Top 10 Referrers! I want to thank you guys for linking me on your site, and like being my fwiend, and being so great of a read, and all that good stuff. Y’all are absolutely awesome. :-D (No, for real.)

1. World Nutella Day
2. law:/dev/null
3. I Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans
4. 1 version of Jansen’s awesome blawg: No634
5. Similarly Situated
6. Law School Ninja
7. Clear Admit Law Blog
8. A Woman in Law School
9. Legally Questionable Content
10. The Lovely Mrs.

And there you have it! Thank you for an amazing year. :-D We’ll do this again in 2011! hehe

Not that I’m hoping any of these things will happen to you, but in the event that your house has collapsed, burned down, waterlogged, disappeared into another dimension with all of your clothing inside it, the following items are needed to make your wardrobe whole again. I mean, if you’ve shed the weight of an entire person (omg so awesome) or if you’re just looking to edit your wardrobe by either adding pieces or starting fresh, these are things you will definitely need.

The Essential Women’s Wardrobe

SHOES

• 1 pair of flats/ sandals
• 1 pair of trainers/ sneakers
• 1 pair of black pumps – I prefer pointy-toed pumps, simply because when paired with slacks, it gives you a longer horizontal line. This is especially great for petite/ shorter women because a longer line gives you the illusion of increased height. And if you’re like me, that’s all you ever really want anyway, right?
• 1 pair of knee-high boots – I would opt for black, and it’s your decision if you want them high heeled or flat.  However, I just think black would be better if they were high heeled and brown would work better for flat.

BOTTOMS

• 1 pair black dress slacks – FLAT FRONT. FLAT FRONT. FLAT FRONT. Leave the pleats to the men. You do not need to look like you’ve got room enough for a baby, alright. Unless you are having a baby.. in which case, you shouldn’t wear pleats in your pants anyway :-/
• 2 skirts – 1 a-line and 1 pencil – Actually, depending on your shape, I might recommend one over the other. On the one hand, the pencil skirt is just so classic and helps create the lower half of the hourglass shape. I think they’re sophisticated and very sexy on a woman. On the other hand, the pencil skirt can accentuate too much of the lower half and may make you feel self conscious if you’ve got crazy birthing hips/ are a pear shape. In that case, I would highly suggest getting another pair of the a-line because it fits snugly at the waist, which accentuates it, while it flares out, masking/ diminishing the look of wide(r) hips.
• 1 pair dark wash denim – I mentioned this in the EMW, but I believe it is worth reiterating. Dark wash denim will save you from crises and give you a lot of versatility in your wardrobe because you can dress it up or down. The cut is entirely up to you, but I am a fan of only the skinny, the boot cut, and the trouser styles.
• 1 pair of khaki pants/ shorts (optional)

** The side pockets should be flat to avoid drawing attention to your hips. if you notice they gap when you wear them, the pants might be too small for you, or you might need to get them sewn shut.  Also, if you look in the mirror and you see the pants are clinging and molding your arse, I’m sorry, those have GOT TO GO.  No one needs that much spandex/ lycra in their clothing.  They should generally hug your hips and the highest point of your behind and flow straight down in a clean line (unless they are skinny jeans..).

SHIRTS

• 2 dress shirts – 1 in white and 1 in a colour of your choosing
• 3 camisoles/ tank tops – 1 in white, 1 in black, and 1 in a flesh tone colour.
• casual/ evening wear – 2 silk satin camisoles, 2 solid/ graphic tee shirts/ polos

DRESSES

• 1 Little Black Dress
• 1 work dress
• 1 sundress

** There are many LBDs that are also work appropriate. If you find one, then you won’t need to purchase an extra dress.

OUTERWEAR

• solid coloured sweater – I suggest v-neck or a scoop/ boat neck because I loooove collar bones. I think showing off your collar bone is sexy. There’s just something about them. :-|
• blazer/ structured jacket to match your bottoms – preferably in black or dark grey. If you can’t button the buttons, move on to another or buy a larger size and have them tailored to fit you.
• outerwear – peacoat/ NICE heavy outerwear and the optional luxury item – trench coat (I love my trench coats, you guys. I have a shorter double-breasted and a longer double breasted <3)
• 2 cardigans – 1 in lightweight cotton for the warmer seasons and 1 in a heavier fabric for the cooler temperatures – preferably navy, dark grey, or black

ACCESSORIES

• 2 pairs of stockings – 1 in flesh tone and 1 in black
• 3 bags (oh gosh this would be the death of me.) – 1 working tote, 1 everyday bag, 1 evening clutch
• 1 nice belt – black
• 2 pairs of earrings – 1 subtle stud, 1 dangling chandelier — the chandelier earrings will probably be your go-to piece because they work well for evening and even during the day.

OTHER

• swimsuit/ athletic wear
• lingerie/ sleepwear
• socks for your trainers/ sneakers.

That’s it!  Wasn’t that easy peasy??  Hehe. :D